Brandy Debenport and her husband, John, are the parents to four children: John (25), Margaret (21), Lizzie (19), and Natalie (14). When John was born in 1999, Brandy was thrilled to be a mom. “I had always dreamed of the day I would become a parent. Holding John for the first time was everything I thought it would be! My heart was so full!” Brandy says. “The birth of each of my children was such a moving display of God’s miraculous power. The idea that we have the privilege of co-creating life with God is too incredible to describe. What a gift! Watching my children’s personalities develop as they grew was so much fun. They are unique, and I love the young people they have become!”
Brandy always says that she is amazed that even though all four of her children come from the same DNA pool, they each have such different qualities that make them unique. For example, John has always been driven. “He has known that he wanted to be an attorney since he was very young and will graduate from law school this May. Nothing stops John. When he sets his heart and mind on something, he makes it happen no matter what obstacles he faces,” Brandy says. “Margaret is deeply empathic. From her youngest years, I could see that she carried others’ pain for them authentically. She has the kindest heart and always roots for the underdog. She seeks peace in every situation and wants it for the whole world.”
Lizzie is the gentle spirit of the family. She is easygoing and never stops smiling. “She also has deep, deep faith, and she is a ray of sunshine for everyone she meets!” Brandy says. “Natalie is so outgoing. She’s never met a stranger and makes friends wherever she goes. She is hilarious, too. Natalie is quite the performer. She loves to sing, dance, and act. She keeps us laughing and thoroughly entertained!”
When Brandy needs advice or help with issues that have naturally emerged from raising four children, she reaches out to her mom, who is always willing to lend a listening ear and help Brandy think through decisions. However, Brandy also calls her mentor and friend, Mrs. Bertie Norton. “I call her pretty frequently,” Brandy says. “She mentored me when I began my career as an elementary school principal but is now more like a second mom to me. Bertie has given me some of the best advice along the way! I am blessed with two incredible women I can lean on when needed!
If Brandy had a chance to share her advice with young mothers, she said that it would be not to get wrapped up in what the world teaches about motherhood. Brandy says that when she was younger, she often had people say unkind things about having a larger family. “If you are able, have LOTS of children. If I had to do it over, I would have had several more,” Brandy says. “Children are a gift from God given to us to love and nurture. Have as many as possible, spend as much time with them as possible, and soak up every minute. Everyone says this, but it’s true – they grow up so fast! You will blink, and they will leave the nest. All the ‘things’ the world says are important are not. Children don’t need things. They need YOU!”
Brandy and Dan knew they wanted to emphasize the importance of faith and manners when raising their kids. They said that when the children were little, they took them to mass each Sunday and tried diligently to teach them the tenets of their faith and to love Jesus. “My Catholic faith always has the most substantial influence on my parenting, and the most important thing to me as a mom is that they know Jesus as their savior. While I want their lives to be full of good things, nothing is as important as their relationship with Jesus Christ,” Brandy says. “Also, I have always had high expectations for my children regarding their behavior. It was (and still is) important to me that they always be mannerly and courteous. I expected them to listen to adults and follow the directions given. I wanted them to answer adults with, ‘Yes, ma’am,’ or ‘Yes, sir.’ I taught them to work hard and make good choices.”
When Brandy was growing up, her parents often took the family on trips, and Brandy treasured the memories of those vacations. “We did everything from camping at Lake Wright Patman to visiting Disney World, and when I became a mom, I knew I would want to travel frequently with my children if I could. Dan and I were so blessed to do just that,” Brandy says. “We have taken our family on many vacations. I hope my children have good memories of those experiences, just like I did of my childhood.”
One of Brandy’s favorite memories of the family occurred on one of these trips. When their kids ranged in age from about four to fifteen, Dan and Brandy took the whole family to California to see friends stationed in San Diego and visit Disneyland. “We drove the entire way and took our time doing so. The kids were so well-behaved, and we have great memories of the whole vacation,” Brandy says. “Anytime we are all together is so special!”
Time together was often a balancing act for the busy family. All four children were very involved in school, church, and extracurricular activities, and the family seemed to be always on the run. However, it was essential to Dan and Brandy that the family sit together for dinner at least several times a week, even when it was extremely difficult. “Trying to get everyone to all their activities and maintain some balance was so tough. Motherhood, and life in general, is such a balancing act,” Brandy says. “In the end, I think we did a pretty good job. We had to hold tight to what we felt was most important and say no to things that interfered.”
Brandy has now entered a new phase of motherhood – mothering young adults. “Watching them chase their dreams and become responsible adults is fantastic. I love cheering them on in all their endeavors!” Brandy says. “My children have made me a much better person. They have strengthened my faith by watching their faith grow and helped me gain perspective about what’s really important in life. I cannot imagine my life without my children!”
Fun Facts
- My dream Mother’s Day would include sleeping in, reading a good book, drinking hot coffee, and having a foot massage.
- The best advice I’ve ever received as a mom is when you are raising kids, you best throw your pride out the window and pray that when they are grown, you can pick it back up again.
- One thing I want to do with my kids is take family vacations together even when they are married with their own children.
- The one thing I wish I had known about parenting is how fast time flies.
- The best gift my kids could ever give me would be to love and serve the Lord all the days of their lives.